The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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