My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
