I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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