You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
