Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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