Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
