I love black thongs
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
