After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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