I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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