Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
