As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
