rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
