so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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