you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
