sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
