You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
