her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
