This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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