its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had to cum in my sink.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
