allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she woke up with a sticky ear
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
