I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My breasts were aching with rage.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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