just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
