Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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