About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
