these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
