i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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