I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
