his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
