I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
