so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
