The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
