Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
