I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well I just put wine in my tea
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
