dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize