apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize