She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Omg I joined a choir last night...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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