My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
