When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
