Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Walk of Shame today included voting.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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