I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
