Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
