Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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