Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
