Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
