i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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