12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My feet surprised me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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