Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize