how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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