well you can't waste a boner
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
