I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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