What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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