About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
