Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i've created a new STD.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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