she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
