you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize