I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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