I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
