I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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