TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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