Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
