FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
