There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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