Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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