So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
