I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
