There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
