Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
